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[quote=Anonymous]I have two step sons. They are both in their 20s now, and were 11 & 16 when I met them. Their parents had split 3 years before I met my future husband.
Like any divorce, a lot of drama. And yes there are two sides and I'm not blind. I think some of her behavior was *understandable* given a divorce, but a lot was evil. For instance, she decided to move to be closer to her boyfriend and told the kids it was because their dad left her broke. Truth is 2/3 of his income went to her, and the home she moved into cost more than the home they were living in. She chose to blame dad for the move instead of telling the kids she just wanted to move.  She also told the older child he didn't have to visit. I get it - hanging out with dad isn't fun as a teenager. But he went a year without coming to our home for a visit (we were 60-90 minutes away at this point,  depending on traffic), only agreed to meet him a couple times for a short visit (dinner, movies near where they lived)... and then wanted dad to pay for all of college. 
As everything does, things changed over the years. Boys went off to college - one is working on his advanced degree now and the other is a junior.  We see them every few months, which I think is normal for college kids that don't live that close. 
Do I love the boys? Yes.  Do I love them the same as my kids? No.  Mostly because I met them when they were teens and they never lived with us full time.  I'm more of an aunt to them.  
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