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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No and have no interest in them.  They treated their Dad horribly as teens per their mom's wishes.  When they were young, we tried hard.  But, after years of doing things, like sending clothing (brands, styles, colors they wanted) and other stuff and never once getting it acknowledged (just it arrived, didn't even have to be a thank you), I gave up and stopped trying.  They only call if they want something, usually money which Dad will no longer give.  If the situation were different, I'd love them and would do a lot for the one who has a child.  We have a child and I cannot imagine raising them to hate the other parent and discouraging a relationship.[/quote]

Why wasn't their father more involved beyond sending clothes and material things?  Did he spend time with them? Show up at all their functions? Drive them to school?  Participate in their daily and care and life?

If not, it's easy to understand their resentment.[/quote]

Mom moved them cross country and Dad could not follow.  Dad at one point tried to move there and daughter pitched a fit saying mom would be upset.  He would buy plane tickets and she would refuse to put them on the plane.  The courts would just say send the kids and give dad more visitation and make her pay more costs but she refused.  Courts would not do anything.  Dad did as much as he could.  Mom cheated, left, took the kids and blamed Dad saying he cheated and was a deadbeat (he never was) and was horrible to him.  Kids copied behavior to get mom's approval.  Its weird as she's very nice to us now and frequently texts to see how he, we, our child or his mom is (whom she treated horribly).  His daughter sends random emails too.  He wishes they would stop.  [/quote]

Given what you have said OP my only sympathy goes to these children who were lied to, moved, kept from their dad, and then blamed for perpetuating their mothers bad behavior toward their dad when they had no way of knowing that the awful things she was saying were not true.  I find your contempt for them to be completely devoid of empathy or any kind of compassion. Your husband was a victim too until you revealed that he wishes his daughter would stop calling him. Now I'm wondering if his ex really was lying at all because he sounds like a real ahole. [/quote]

???Sounds like you are projecting.  His daughter doesn't call.  She emails a few times a year demanding something.  Like she demanded to know about life insurance they had for when she was a child and got upset he didn't continue it when she was an adult (he asked her and she said she didn't want it) - it was a Gerber plan so he cashed it out and gave her the money.  The last one was wanting to know if our child started school.  Nothing more but did XXX start school.  He's a great guy and Dad.  Its been 20 years.  At some point you detach out of survival and move on.  No, I have no empathy.  I have helped out with health insurance and other issues when one child got in a bad car accident and mom dropped his insurance and called us looking to pay the bills (they lied to us about what happened) so I did speak with the hospital as we still carried him on our insurance till we could no longer.  Mom refused to use our insurance.  I'm assuming they used it but we never heard anything further about it.  (he was an adult/21, not our responsibility)  Another time the youngest wanted us to buy him and his girlfriend plane tickets to this area in case he wanted to interview for a graduate school.  Husband called ex as he wouldn't disclose the entire story and apparently he never planned on coming in less he didn't get into another graduate school.  So, we would have wasted the money and changed our plans when he never intended on really coming.  It was also bizarre he expected us to pay for his girlfriend when this was not a visit but for an interview.  He got angry when we would only pay his.  (he doesn't normally visit so we knew he was using us for something)

When your kids never call or email to chat and its only a few times a year with bizarre emails or demands, yes, its easier not to talk to them.  Its hard on my husband having his ex cheat on him, take the kids and her refuse a relationship.  And, its harder on him now she pretends to be nice when she was never nice all those years he tried and tried to have a relationship with her, when he paid most of his salary to alimony and child support and he had nothing and the little he had he'd send upon request when she claimed the kids needed something, which often was a lie (as he started to offer to buy the kids what they needed online and have it shipped or send a check made out to the school and she/they would refuse).

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