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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Each of you talk with your own parents: We're tired of hearing this complaining and assuming about who gets more time with Larla.  You both get similar amounts of time, and yet you both complain about it.  Please stop.  You're making our lives harder, not easier, and making visits with you more stressful and less enjoyable.  Please just enjoy the time we *do* have together.[/quote]

OP here, thank you. This is very well put.

I'm so glad my daughter has some many people that love her ... But it's become so stressful trying to make everybody happy. I mean, the fact that my first instinct was to not tell either set of grandparents about this event because I knew how it would go. Now my mom is barely speaking to me because my in laws will be there (likely not even at the same time!!!!) I'm not sure what she expects me to do ... Not include them? She's just as much their granddaughter as she is my parents'. It's just frustrating to me because her behavior makes it seem like she's more concerned with keeping score than actually spending time with my DD. otherwise, why would she care if they came? Particularly if she doesn't see them?[/quote]

OP, I hope you realize how utterly immature your mom is acting. Please distance yourself from this behavior. It's neither your fault NOR is it your job to manage it. So she is choosing not to speak to her own daughter? Fine. No problem. Go about your business and do not give any attention to this. Don't engage and don't manage. You can give the time for the daycare event and let the adults make their choices. [/quote]

OP here, yes I do realize. It's just really frustrating. The problem with her (always has been) that if I really, truly put my foot down, it erupts into screaming hysteria about what a terrible person I am. If I told her "Grandparents day is X day from X time - X time, we've invited both you and DH's parents, come and go as you please" She would immediately go into "well what if we are all there at the same time" and "we need our own time with her" and the usual BS. Then if I tell her "too bad, I cannot and will not schedule you guys, come or don't come" then WWIII will begin and dealing with the hysteria is worse.[/quote]

I posted upthread about dealing with this with my mother.

Go ahead and launch WWIII. Our mothers are crazy. They are not rational. We can't persuade them. So we should stop asking for their approval. I only have one life to live and I'm not going to spend it agonizing over which crazy person I offended.
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