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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Each of you talk with your own parents: We're tired of hearing this complaining and assuming about who gets more time with Larla.  You both get similar amounts of time, and yet you both complain about it.  Please stop.  You're making our lives harder, not easier, and making visits with you more stressful and less enjoyable.  Please just enjoy the time we *do* have together.[/quote]

OP here, thank you. This is very well put.

I'm so glad my daughter has some many people that love her ... But it's become so stressful trying to make everybody happy. I mean, the fact that my first instinct was to not tell either set of grandparents about this event because I knew how it would go. Now my mom is barely speaking to me because my in laws will be there (likely not even at the same time!!!!) I'm not sure what she expects me to do ... Not include them? She's just as much their granddaughter as she is my parents'. It's just frustrating to me because her behavior makes it seem like she's more concerned with keeping score than actually spending time with my DD. otherwise, why would she care if they came? Particularly if she doesn't see them?[/quote]

OP,[b] I hope you realize how utterly immature your mom is acting.[/b] Please distance yourself from this behavior. It's neither your fault NOR is it your job to manage it. So she is choosing not to speak to her own daughter? Fine. No problem. Go about your business and do not give any attention to this. Don't engage and don't manage. You can give the time for the daycare event and let the adults make their choices. [/quote]

Yes to this.  It is not your job to manage her feelings.  Make choices that YOU KNOW are fair and reasonable (even if it's not 50/50!) to each set.  Beyond that, do not engage.  She may fume and be mad.  That is not your problem.  The more time she spends being mad, the less time she is spending enjoying her granddaughter.  That's sad, but oh well.

We also stopped telling my MIL when we saw my mom, because she was fiercely jealous.  So we don't lie, but we do omit it if we can.  That helps I think.[/quote]

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