Reply to Not going to cheat, but need help getting over emotional infatuation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it's perfectly natural to feel flattered when an attractive woman flirts with you, or even to fantasize about her a bit - especially when you're stressed by your daily grind of work and family and need a diversion.

Do you have anxiety or OCD? I ask this because you seem to be tormenting yourself with guilt (to the extent you're losing weight - that's pretty extreme). You need to dial it way back in yourself and put things in perspective, stat.

First of all, you are quick to demonize yourself but you're giving this colleague a lot of credit - or at least downplaying her culpability (i.e making it sound like it was a "throw-away" comment on her part or that she looks upon you with "pity" - that's distorted thinking in your part).

She has initiated this, and behaved inappropriately. She asked for your number, and texted you - and I imagine with just a little encouragement from you it could escalate. Of course you're flattered - you're human. But you need to stop idealizing her and crapping on yourself.

It's a crush, and it happens, especially when we're vulnerable to it. Just treat it like any other crush, and try to reconnect with your wife and figure out where this void is coming from that's making you vulnerable.  Stop being so hard on 
yourself.

She's not the innocent party here, OP.
- [/quote]

+1 This coworker is an instigator who at best is messing with OP for sport or personal ego boost, which is uncool.

I think that a lot of guys do not recognize how women make moves on them. Women who are players make moves by constantly creating opportunities for you to come closer to them, and to confide in them, and inviting you and encouraging you to respond. This coworker is inviting him and encouraging him by saying inappropriate things, asking for his number and creating opportunities for him to be private and one on one with her. I know one woman who invites the coworker she is interested in to come look at things on her phone, and talks in a really quiet voice to him so he has to lean closer and closer. Just watched it in a meeting last week. See it and recognize it and free your mind from the manipulation so you can decide for yourself.[/quote]

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