Reply to Parent passed away 5 years ago, Spouse thinks I need more therapy for closure?!

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Reply to "Parent passed away 5 years ago, Spouse thinks I need more therapy for closure?!"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry, OP. I know it must be really hard, what you have described sounds heart-wrenching.

When your spouse suggests a therapy and the need for "closure," maybe what he is really saying is that it is hard for him to have special events and holidays always covered by a shadow of grief?

I am not saying you are wrong to feel this grief in any way, but your spouse may not be able to tell you his real issue: that this is affecting your family in a real and negative way and that he wishes you all could just enjoy a holiday or special event. He may not be able to tell you this directly because he does not want to seem critical. His saying, "get closure," may be his way of saying, "stop ruining Christmas for us," or whatever.

If that is the case, in some ways it might be insensitive, but he might also have a valid point to make about how this is affecting your family now. I don't know if  your spouse has had any similar life experiences. He may really just not get how deeply affecting this could be. But it may also be true that you don't fully realize how the way you are dealing with your grief is affecting your family's ability to experience joy. I don't really know your situation, obviously, but it's worth considering that your spouse may have a real need here that he can't express to you, rather than him just being not understanding.
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