Reply to Parent passed away 5 years ago, Spouse thinks I need more therapy for closure?!

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Reply to "Parent passed away 5 years ago, Spouse thinks I need more therapy for closure?!"

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[quote=Anonymous]So sorry, OP.   I think what you are experiencing is within the realm of normal grieving - at least, it is very similar to what I went through.  I lost my mother to cancer when I was in my early 20s.  She was the only parent I'd ever known.  I wasn't fully over it at the 5 year mark - in fact, I remember taking it really hard that particular year because 5 years seemed like such a long time for her to be gone.  It's now been 15 years and I'm still not fully "over it."  I get sad around her birthday and the anniversary of her death, but it hurts less as the years go by.  When I became a mom, I missed my mother terribly and all of those feelings rose to the surface again and hurt in a new way.  But again, you learn to live with it and the new normal gets easier as time goes by.

I never went to therapy but what did help me work through it was writing down everything I was feeling - all of the hurt, sadness, anger, fear, guilt, and loneliness that for a long time was bubbling right under the surface.  I don't think "closure" exists for something like this, but ideally you get to a point where you can live your life without the grief being all-consuming.  if your griefis affecting your family or other aspects of your life, then a therapist may help you find a better way to manage it.  [/quote]

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