Reply to The weight of our lives tilts towards my husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think I understand, and I think many of the posters don't get it. I dated a guy who was a "collector" of many very specific things. He was seriously into his collections, and he could always come up with reasons why he had to go to tradeshows or travel to specific places. It was kind of fun for a while, but then it got really tiring for me. Both the constant focus on these things, the time and money, and the space they took up. Almost like a fetish but not sexual. He was an interesting, smart person but I felt smothered by how into his interests he was. [/quote]

PP again: I feel like I haven't gotten across how one-sided it was. He wanted me to come along every weekend on trips to track down his items. He spent most evenings updating the websites in which he talked about and photographed his items, or corresponding with other collectors, or researching them. I could see how it could be interesting to the outside world, because he knew so much, but it was too much for me. And I felt like I was being a bad girlfriend if I didn't participate/enjoy it/give up my time to the pursuit of these things.

I also feel like women are socialized to do this (support other people's interests) and put collective activities ahead of personal ones. [/quote]

The difference is that OP said her DH would enthusiastically support her hobby - if only she had one.[/quote]

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