Reply to Please tell me you don't "thank" your spouse...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - this happened with my and my DH pre-baby. I nipped it in the bud and I am so glad I did. [b]I pointed out he didn't thank me for doing things around the house... Why? Because he expected me to do it and it was a minimum expectation for living in a space and taking care of it. Same for him. It's no more my 'job' than it is his. I expect him to be a decent human/partner/roommate, and I won't be thanking him like he did me some sort of favor. [/b]He heard me and has been more attentive ever since. Now post-baby we have a pretty explicit divide of who does what so if one of us steps in to help the other we do thank each other. [/quote]

THIS!!!!

OP, I understand why that is so irritating. I would be pretty furious if my DH made remarks like that, and would probably have something to say like the bolded above. That's not to say that I don't thank him for some things, some times. Especially if it is something particularly kind or thoughtful or I know he had to put extra effort into. Example, I'm probably not going to explicitly thank him for loading the dinner dishes into the dishwasher most nights. He's not going to thank me for doing a load of laundry. But I might thank him if he cleans up the whole kitchen and dining room after we had a bunch of people over for dinner and there was a giant mess. He might likewise stop and help me fold if he notices I'm on my fourth load of laundry of the weekend. So, I mean THAT's a reasonable give an take, I think, but recognition for every little things? Not reasonable.[/quote]

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