Reply to Can't seem to forgive myself or DH

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[quote=Anonymous]Op, yes, you need to live in the present where you are now. There is just no point going back.

I would have understood your need for closure and apology had he ghosted you and went back to exgf after a year of dating. But you say that it was at the very beginning, that you knew he was still in love with his ex, that after he came back all went smoothly. So I don't get it, what do you want him to apologize for? He didn't cheat on you. You want him to apologize that for him it wasn't love at first sight for you? That after he met you, he still wanted to figure out his feelings and chances with the ex? You wanted him to be brutally honest to a person he just met? Were you so smitten by him that it hurt you so much that he disappeared for a while? Or is it really your pride that was hurt more by the fact that he'd even think of ex after he met you?

Op, is your relationship and life now so without problems that you're seeking them out? Or do you feel insecure in your relationship with him now that you are channeling this insecurity back to the past? Does it bother you that had she said yes, you wouldn't be together?

Op, if it's just about the past, and you feel loved and secure now, then let it go. If something is bothering you now (not about the past), then address the present concerns head on. Don't repeat the mistake you did of not addressing the issue when it is hot and alive and coming back to it 6 years later.

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