Reply to Grieving my prebaby life and it's been 17 months since birth

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, i'm 6 years out and just lamenting to my DH about not feeling like we have our own life.  I think it is weird that some people don't feel this way. Honestly, i assume they had a way less interesting pre-baby life than me.  My life IS *objectively* shittier and more boring than it was before my son was born.  That said, around age 4, he became a lot easier and self-occupying and i feel like things have been better since then.  It's ridiculous that people are suggesting you need therapy or drugs to deal with the reality that the best-case life with kids is less enjoyable than a good life pre-kids. [/quote]

That is just such bullshit. Some people enjoy being parents, and the reward of the joy and seeing your child grow and change outweighs the things sacrificed to have that.

Seriously, if you are this unhappy as a parent, you need some help.[/quote]

I disagree. I think it's more likely that you and PP have a different outlook on life.

Most parents have dozens more points of conflict in their lives when they have children: someone cries, you have to stop doing this to do that, you repeat yourself 10 times, put on your shoes, stop hitting Johnny, eat this, go to bed, stay in bed, etc...

If we engaged in that type of relationship with a spouse or friend we'd ditch them. But we don't do that with our kids because we love them. Sure, the good outweighs the bad and it's overall a very valuable and enriching and rewarding relationship. If you're not having that kind of existence than I'd guess you either have an VERY easy child, or you don't parent much, or you don't value rules and consistency and are very free-range/laissez-faire (which seems problematic to me, and I do have friends who feel less stress because they take this approach, but whatever). But to say that people who recognize the hard and unpleasant aspects of parenthood are flawed or need help or are bullshit is probably not fair. 
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