Reply to Third family in my circle of special needs had others call cops on their children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 8 year old had a total meltdown today and beat the crap out of me.  Hitting, kicking.  He gave it everything he had.  I'm going to have bruises.  I have wondered what will happen when he's bigger.  We're lucky that he's slight in frame.[/quote]

You cannot tolerate that. You don't tolerate even one finger laid on you in anger ever - otherwise this child will be locked away, medicated as an adult.
You need an intensive behavior management plan NOW. One that encompasses all family, activities and school. This needs to be the focus of your lives until it is fixed.

We made this the focus of our son's early years and now that he is a teen we have virtually no issues. It was intense and all encompassing but it means that he can have a life out in society. It's more important than anything else, even academic work.[/quote]

I'm the special educator/parent with the too long post earlier.

I agree with you that controlling aggression needs to be a top priority.

But I think that it's naive to assume that every family can simply make a choice to "not tolerate" aggression. Sometimes a family can be working with professionals, and doing everything they can, and the progress can be slow and uneven.

I think it's also naive to assume that progress during the early years can prevent issues in adolescence.  Some kids do well when they're younger, but struggle when their hormones surge.  Some mental health issues don't show up until adolescence or early adulthood, and can be very complicated to treat when layered on top of developmental issues.

On the other hand, there are also kids who struggle in the early years, but pull it together in adolescence.  Aggression at 8 doesn't necessarily lead to problems at 18.  It just isn't that clear.[/quote]

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