Reply to 14 year old son only wants to be with friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here... I think maybe moderation re: sleepovers... like 2 nights in a row over the summer is enough? I'm not sure... my only rationale is that I want him to be connected to his family.... and not always be at other peoples' places. From their homes, he can walk to bethesda, so maybe that's the attractor-- but we also have to be careful re: supervision.

I appreciate the comment about not twisting myself up to get him to enjoy this trip. It's just hard b/c we don't go on many trips...

He's a good kid, but he is just really in the teen phase and he's a boy, so he doesn't share that much. I need to realistic that he might like some things and be bored by others. I do think it's a good idea to have him tell friends he can't talk. It's annoying in that that thing buzzes constantly.... Thx for input[/quote]

He sounds like my kid. Good kid but really drawn into the peer friendships right now. As you said, normal.

It is also normal to set the tone with some expectations. We are headed out on a 2 week trip soon and I know my kid will be a little annoyed and bored by it at times. Often, maybe. We just have had frank discussions about how he has spent his summer going to camp and hanging out with friends and now it is time for a little family time even if it feels less fun. We expect him to abide by "screens off" rules to get to sleep on time  because we expect him to be up by 8 or 9 many mornings so we can go on outings, even if the outing doesn't sound that fun to him. The point is to be together. We are going to do some activities that appeal to his younger brother so he might find them a little boring. That is fine, he can still be polite. He can have his phone, but not all the time. If we go to the beach in the morning and he doesn't want to go back in the afternoon so he can instead talk to a friend, that's fine. We will expect him to be showered and ready for dinner at X o'clock.

Stuff like that. Basically, we are entering the phase where he tolerates vacations with his parents rather than thinking they are really fun. It's developmentally appropriate. And we still get glimpses of the old kid who really enjoys an activity every now and then.[/quote]

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