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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The fact that your dad is ill is sensitive information that your dad, quite understandably, does not want to get out.  He wants to get the company leadership in place before he steps away.  He's a good man.

However, "sensitive" is not the same as "classified".  Your MIL does have her hands full caring for her sick husband.  She is feeling hurt that you seem to place your own family at a much higher priority.  Do you think that your MIL could be entrusted to keep the situation with your father's health private?  If so, maybe it is time to share with her what is going on with him and YOU.  You are her family, too.[/quote]

No I don't think she could be entrusted with the information. At some point it would slip while she was talking to SIL and SIL can't keep a secret to save their lives. SIL actually announced our pregnancy to all of DH's family before we were ready to announce(high risk pregnancy and it was very early on). She's never kept a secret. Idk why.[/quote]

O.k. then maybe you could talk in a more general way (no specifics) about some things going on with your extended family that you are not at liberty to discuss right now.  But you will fill her in on the details when you can do so.  Try to make the time you do spend with her as productive as possible.  I am so sorry about your dad.  It is really hard to be going through a painful time like that and have other people leaning on you to help them.  Remember to take care of yourself and give yourself a break, too, every now and then.[/quote]

I disagree.  This approach is just going to get the rumor mill going.  This is like feeding them a tasty tidbit and expecting them not to be ravenous for more.[/quote]

MIL is going through a really rough time and if her son and DIL are spending an inordinate amount of time with DIL's family and very little time with MIL, MIL is going to feel very hurt.  And MIL is probably going to complain about it to anyone who will listen (assuming that is her personality).

You either find a way to explain to her that your side of the family has something going on, too, that requires your help and attention.  Or you continue to keep what is going on with your side of the family a secret and you find a way to give MIL more attention and support during her tough time.

The longer you neglect her w/o explanation the deeper her hurt and resentment will grow towards you.  The last thing you need is all of those negative emotions directed at you at this extremely difficult time.  But MIL is not a mind reader....she only knows what she's been told.

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