Reply to I'm feeling stupid for being sad because my DD wants my husband to adopt her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD has always know about her dad, she's seen pictures, but I think he's more like that  relative you only see on Thanksgiving,   in that you know you are related,  but there's no real connection or meaning there.

Maybe that;s my fault, maybe that's how things naturally progress.

I'm very happy she has  my husband and wants this, and I don't want to put my feelings on her, I don't think that's fair to her. This should be a happy thing. I think I'm just realizing I have a bit more emotional unpacking to do than I  thought.

As for my husband, he's on board, he would have done it years ago, but agreed to let it be her decision.

I do like the suggestion of having him change his middle name, I've never heard of that.[/quote]

Of course this is natural. She was two. You somehow have to separate the you who still wishes that the past had turned out differently from the you who already did this in your own life.

You got remarried and moved on, but you're simultaneously holding your daughter in position as the memory of what could have been. You have to let her become who she is today; that two-year-old in the pictures is still there, but far, far more of her life has been spent with her dad, and she wants it to be official. Imagine in her shoes if you divorce, or if you die, OP: she could lose her dad.[/quote]

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