Reply to Does vacation intensify preexisting issues, or should it make things better?

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Reply to "Does vacation intensify preexisting issues, or should it make things better?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I am sorry OP.  I don't have solutions.  I would just suggest taking steps now.  My DH was like this and he was harboring resentment that just got worse year after year.  Having kids, living in the suburbs, my parents moving to live nearby.  He wouldn't go to couples therapy because he said it was BS and so "suburban" and then criticism spiraled into name calling.  He was also depressed and didn't take care of the depression and then his mental health plummeted when his dad died.  It still took him 6 years to get help when it was affecting his work but at that point, he had decided the depression was due to these resentments so while he felt better, the marriage got worse.  We are one year into marriage therapy and I am not sure if it will work.  I vacillate between hope and despair.   If we caught it in year 10 and started working on things perhaps we wouldn't be at this possibly unrecoverable point.

So I sympathize.  It is awful.  I am still stupid enough to hope he will snap out of it and apologize for all the things he said to me or be happy with his life so we can have a happy family.  The kids are affected and that kills me more.  So my advice is to do something now because it won't get better on its own.[/quote]

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