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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Therapist takes DH's side"
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[quote=Anonymous]Do you the your therapist could help you both figure out how to talk about these issues in a way that doesn't threaten or insult your DH? You both should be able to express yourself and have your feelings considered. Such as... Step 1: determine what you want from DH when you tell him these things. Do you just want him to acknowledge it with "yeah, that was a shitty thing for mom to say"? Do you want more sympathy from him, or do you want him to stand up for you / talk to his mother and tell her to back off? Understand that some people are "fixers" by nature, and constantly raising issues that have no real solution make them feel attacked and defensive - just a guess here, but that could be what's going on with your DH's reaction, so clearly defining what you expect from him may help. Step 2: can you phrase your complaints in a way that is less "attacking"? There is a difference between: "Your mom was such a bitch to me last night, I can't believe she told me I look fat" And "I was really caught off guard when your mom commented on my weight. It hurt my feelings because I've been working really hard on keeping my diet in check." Try to make it more about your feelings, less about MIL being evil. [/quote]
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