Reply to Does anyone really truly regret having a kid or kids?

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Reply to "Does anyone really truly regret having a kid or kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I regretted having kids after my first.  I had horrible PPD, and my whole life had changed -- I was suddenly staying a home with a baby who did not seem to fit any of the information I read about and did not seem terribly attached to me.  I didn't know what I was doing, I was super insecure as a parent, and my kid had a few minor but stressful medical issues.  I was super Type A and very success-driven, and I felt like a miserable failure because it felt like I had no control over anything in my life and was not achieving success in any way.

I got on meds and learned a lot during the first 2 years about what it meant to be a parent.  By age 1, I was enjoying my kid a lot more finally but still pretty on the fence about whether I had ruined my life by having kids or not.  By age 2, I felt confident as a parent and pretty satisfied with my life.  I had another kid and am now very happy with my life.

I'm still a SAHM and sometimes desperately miss work and the life I used to have.  I used to travel all over and lived abroad -- had amazing experiences and a job I felt proud of.  I intend to go back to work again in a few years but know it won't ever be quite the same.  That makes me sad, but I also recognize that I don't entirely want it to be the same.  I'm very happy with the life I live and the time I spend with my kids, and I wouldn't trade that for the alternative.  I know that I would have been miserable by this point if I hadn't had kids -- I could have slept in and done what I wanted whenever I wanted to, and perhaps I would have "achieved" more in a tangible way, but I would have felt a gap that would have only grown each year without kids.  I know that others don't all feel this way, and I don't mean to suggest that all people should have kids to feel fulfilled.  I'm just saying that I personally wouldn't have been happy.  I also know that I couldn't have appreciated how awesome it would be to sleep in and do whatever I wanted because I wouldn't have even known the opposite![/quote]

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