Reply to Would like to hear from parents of older teens who were caught with marijuana

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are over-reacting.[b] A lot of very successful people smoke pot. [/b]Your son will soon graduate and be out of your influence. You can't actually punish him into not using pot and your disproportionate freak-out will only make it less likely he will talk to you about it and respect your views. If you are feeling this upset and drastic about it I suggest you see a family therapist to work it out. [/quote]

I live in California and this is totally true.  It's legal so nobody is whispering about smoking weed or eating brownies, or buying pot truffles at Dolores Park.  The issue is you don't live in a place where it's legal, and your kid's brain is still developing.

Having said that, millions of teens have smoked weed and still gone on to be successful adults. I think the issue of him/her not having a full time job for the summer is a different issue.[/quote]

I completely agree with the second paragraph. I'm in my early 30s; I know plenty of people who smoked pot in high school (and in college, and some even to this day...) who are doing very well for themselves. Most of these people enjoyed it for awhile, then sort of grew out of it as they graduated and life became more busy. And for those of them that still do on occasion, you would never guess it by meeting them. Nor is it really a big deal; some people like to unwind with a couple drinks, some prefer a few hits from time to time. I don't think a 17 year old smoking pot in and of itself is necessarily cause for a massive freak out, nor do I in any way worry that this means your son will be some sort of ne'er-do-well burnout in 10 years.

However. The real issues here are that 1) he had it at SCHOOL. That is just dumb, and reckless...and shows a serious lapse in judgment. And 2) he failed to secure any sort of employment for the summer, even after you'd told him he needs to (and, regardless...). That seems more worrisome to me, and indicative of the fact that he's not interested in putting in any effort. Have you ruled out any underlying mental health issues? What is HIS reaction to being kicked out of school?[/quote]

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