Reply to when your preschooler hits

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[quote=Anonymous]Not all hitting is the same type of hitting. As OP describes it, it sounds like frustration hitting where the DS doesn't have the impulse control to stop it.  So more like a physical reaction to panic/anger feeling. Lots of kids go through this at that age.  The only thing that really helps is time. Punishment won't do much, and may make it worse.  If it were me, I'd make sure baby is okay, grab the hands and say with a firm, angry voice (no yelling) "We do NOT hit".  And walk away and ignore.  Come back in 2 minutes and say "Hey, I get that you were really frustrated about X, but here's the thing: You need to find another way to deal with your anger.  We have to leave for school so you can't just get angry about it." OP's DS's age is a little young for this, but by early 4, some of that stuff starts clicking.  It doesn't mean the hitting stops, but they do start understanding why their hitting isn't okay.

fwiw, my son is 5 and still periodically has the impulse to hit once when he's super mad about something. And I've heard other parents unprompted at school say their kids still have the impulse to hit every now and then when they are angry.  90% of the time now (this might be once every month), you can see my son pull his arm back and then stop himself.  He literally just has more impulse control than when he was 3.  Honestly, as an adult (a very calm, happy, non angry adult) I still have things happen a couple times a year that make me so mad that I feel this internal urge to hit something.  Of course, I have adult self control and don't hit.  The point is, kids need to grow out of this.

It doesn't mean you accept it, but it's also not something you can punish away at age 3.5.  [/quote]

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