Reply to Fourth Grade DD -- how to instill gratitude and tone down sass/back talk

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry OP - It sounds like your daughter is fairly ordinary.  It 
sounds like you really don't understand kids her age.

Model gratitude, and you might start to see it.

Expect some sass and imperfection.  Don't make a nick nack at the toy store more important than it really is (you shouldn't have bought it).  I know that it was always really hard for my kid to do errands after an athletic game.  He was tired, and hungry dehydrated, and uncomfortable after giving his all on the field.   [/quote]

That's what we are wondering if it is just part of her development. Hah, yeah we didn't buy anything they were handing out as promotions. Toys are for birthdays and Christmas!

As for modelin gratitude, we are very gracious to each other (we thank each other for who make dinner, and thank kids for putting away dishes or shoes or chores), though I thin we might sometimes grouse about work or some problem with the house or car. [/quote]

You, dear, are the one who questioned your own behavior.

Yes, a lot of this is development.  You are wise to question when your kid enters a new stage. I'm a bunch of years ahead of you, but here is what I know.  Set some parenting goals, and don't sweat the small stuff. Understand that your kid is insecure, in turmoil and hormonal. Don't ask the impossible.  For instance, I took my kid driving last weekend. He was great in the car. Very respectful and safe. Once we got home, he felt the need to tell his dad all the ways I was less than ideal - he was awful.  I just let him.  That was just teenage bs. Another one: If you are engaged in an argument with your kid about absolute stupidity and losing track of the bigger parenting goal, shut your mouth because you are contributing by acting like a kid.  If you don't shut up before long you will pull rank and be unfair. Then Reflect back on your parenting goals again, and then change your behavior to achieve the goals. Just shut up sometimes.  In my house, everyone says thank you about meals, and praises the cook. Every night. Even when dinner sucks.
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