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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As much as I would want to know if it were my daughter, I would probably keep my mouth shut.  We had a situation backfire on my son. Another kid's bad behavior led my son to be ousted from the group. I was not involved, except through what my son told me.  Before I said anything I would make damned sure my daughter wouldn't pay for me "doing the right thing"[/quote]

NP here. OP, this response seems to assume that your daughter might be shut out by her friends for "tattling" if you report this to the parent. Yes, it could happen, but I totally disagree that you should do nothing at all. Please tell the other parent. And then your DD should stop seeing the kid who had the porn. I will get blasted on here by the "let them work it out themselves" crowd that is on DCUM, but no, you need to step in and ensure your DD does not have sleepovers that involve this girl and also doesn't see her to hang out after school etc.

I am not saying this is some horrid kid. Nope. She's not the villain. But she does have horrible judgment and made her friend, your DD, unsettled and uncomfortable--and friends don't do that. And as the adult, you are never obliged to let your own child continue seeing another child who does what this kid did. (again, not popular ot say here on DCUM, but I draw the line at porn being casually shown around.) This may be pure curiosity on the girl's part,  but it clearly upset and unsettled your child. I would not make some huge "you're no longer friends with her" announcement; just start having your child be too busy to see her. If they share friends, your girl needs to start seeing the others in that circle in other settings, or all of them only if an adult is around.

Please listen to the posts seconding the excellent PP who gave you a simple, clear script for how to bring this up to the other parent. Please do not wait too long to do this. And ask clearly that the parent not tell the girl which of the others at the sleepover reported this to a parent.

Porn warps people's expectations about sex and relationships and can make girls feel they have to behave like women they see in porn in order to get boys to pay attention to them. It's so readily available that girls as young as yours are now getting exposed to it just in the way your daughter has. While a few minutes of porn to an aghast group of girls obviously doesn't mean they're now all warped for life, it was a warning sign that this one girl needs some adults to scrub her media and then keep much better tabs on what she's doing. [/quote]

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