Reply to What is #boymom?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a boy who is older, and who plays with a lot of girls, and yes - there are (generalized) differences! Things like risk taking, style of play, physicality, noise, when certain types of maturity occur, etc... [b]It's real[/b]. It's not all kids, but it's a generalization that bears weight in lots of cases. So I guess I am a #boymom.

Would I ever write that hashtag on Facebook or something? No way. That seems icky. Like showing a photo of my new concealer and saying #onlyforladiez - I mean sure, mostly for ladies, but that's not the entire truth!

When I've noted differences aloud to closer friends or neighbors, I usually say "I hate to generalize" or "This probably is just my experience" and 9 out of 10 times the other person say "Oh. No. I see it. It's real." They just don't hashtag it![/quote]

Nope. It's socialization. [/quote]

It's both.

Biologically, hormones and wiring contribute to us showing a spectrum of possible traits, where one side of the spectrum is this and the other is that.

Sure, society socializes our kids into performing gender roles, even if we try to combat that at home. For example, a dad on my kid's soccer team was giving a tone-deaf monologue about boys being tough and not crying and I ripped into him a few weeks ago. Loud enough that the other kids could hear someone refute the idea. But yeah, they'll hear and see this elsewhere.

Of course you could argue that my child is less likely to be socialized into performing a certain gender identity because I have tried to let him be him. Turns out "him" likes to jump up and try to touch the door frame of every single freaking doorway he walks though. Show me more than a handful of girls who do that regularly.

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I agree, but I think these days its less and less about socialization.  I have one of each and don't do or say anything about gender roles.  From a very early age, my boy loves to have his fingernails painted, loves to wear ladies heels (and I have never stopped him or made an issue of it) but he also is much more physical than my girl.  Just like pp, he HAS to jump up and try and reach every.single.doorframe he goes under.  He also wanted barbies and dolls.  He always tries to take their heads off and swings them from their hair.  My girl treats them like little people.  So, there's definitely biology that separates the behaviors of boys and girls.  [/quote]

That's anecdotal and you have no way of measuring what comes from where. Sorry, it's just that I see well-meaning parents who think they're totally neutral dress their baby girls in pink and get "girl" gifts from grandparents claim it's literally all biology, or that they know what percentage biology it is, as... no. You don't.[/quote]

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