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[quote=Anonymous]Counselor PP here.

I am not saying that you shouldn't be alarmed by the cutting child. It's an alarming situation, but it's the sort of thing that kids will learn about and be curious about. When I was in high school, we learned about this from our friends. A friend of mine told me that it helped her to feel less overwhelmed. I thought, hey, that sounds nice, I'll try it. You know what? I didn't feel less overwhelmed. I felt like I had a superficial scratch on my arm that hurt and that I then I had to figure out how to hide from my mom. I didn't have anyone to talk to about it and it definitely didn't come up in any kind of context where I was being educated by a professional. I'm so glad that there are programs available now, even if they're not always perfect.

I also agree with you about the anxiety thing. I wish that there were better words to describe regular stressors. I do think that it sounds like it would be valuable to check in with your daughter about her activities and make sure she's getting enough downtime. There's a difference between a kid who is feeling overscheduled or is in a developmental place where things feel overwhelming in general, and a kid who is lazy. I don't know your daughter and can't comment on which of those things applies to the situation, but continued evaluation of that seems like it would be good.

From my own practice, I prefer to operate from a collaborative place that puts the kid's experience on the same level as the parents' expectations. Like, are these expectations realistic for this kid at this time? Is this kid happy with these specific activities? Would the kid do better with sports vs. music vs. riding lessons or whatever? Would this kid do better with X chore instead of Y chore? Those conversations are hard to have when the kid frames it as "I'm experiencing mental illness!" which is one reason why, diagnostically, there are duration qualifications and also things that need to be ruled out (e.g., if your mom just died and you're sad, even if you meet all the other diagnostic criteria for major depressive disorder, you may actually just be experiencing regular grief).

Sorry I messed up the formatting earlier and also for the long winded response. I love what I do and don't want the types of programs that we put together to get misinterpreted or eliminated because of misunderstandings :)[/quote]

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