Reply to Need advice on individual/family goals and ambitions

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents have been married for over 50 years. My dad had tenure and would not move/travel/entertain any change. He would go camping with the family, but any hotels/rentals - no way. My mom bought a house of her dreams when I was out of graduate school. It took my dad a year to move from the condo. They basically dated that year. The only trip my dad went on was for the year 2000 celebration. He loved it, but would not go anywhere again. My mom travelled by herself and with kids. Their marriage is still a happy marriage as they accept each other as is.[/quote]

I assume that when your dad was offered a tenure track position, your parents had a conversation about it and knew it would set the course for their adult lives? I think this supports the idea that actually making big changes is less important than good communication and shared decision making, even if the decision is to stay put. [/quote]
I agree with you on communication. It also helps that they don't like conflict and love each other.
Both of my parents got tenure track positions but my mom decided it was not for her. She wanted money and went to earn it. They like talking to each other and appreciate the freedom they allow each other (right now my mom is at the beach house and full of plans, while my dad is at home and has no desire to go anywhere). When he was courting her, he was always taking her to theaters, operas, etc. He had not gone once since they got married, my mom doesn't miss a performance. The list can go on and on. Dad was always great with kids (and grandkids) and a good cook. Mom is the serious one and likes to share her experiences.
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