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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lots of hugs for you, OP.  I feel I am in a similar situation with my parents (both of them) who create their own very avoidable problems and then do nothing to fix them.  I feel all this guilt, responsibility, and worry about their happiness; actually I have talked to my therapist about this issue.  Your mom needs a therapist, but maybe you can benefit from one too -- if you don't already see one -- and maybe the fact you see a therapist would encourage your mother to see one.  Heck, you could offer to go together once or twice.

One of my parents' many issues is that both their children live a plane ride away from them.  They bring this up often.  I tried everything to make a move back home work for my spouse/kids, finally concluded it would never work, and told my parents that my family would move to their state if they were willing to leave their town and move somewhere else in their state with me.  They are not interested, even through they are retired and well-off and could easily move anywhere in the world that they wanted to including my current town where we're very happily settled.  The fact they were unwilling to meet me a fraction of the way after I was willing to uproot my family, showed me that they were not interested in a solution and perhaps would not even be happy if I moved next store.  (Before anybody jumps on me -- it's their right not to move!  But I no longer feel responsible for the distance between us.)

Best of luck, OP.  It's hard.[/quote]

PP here. My parents want DH and I to move our family to my parents' town (a 4 hour plane ride away). The problem is, we are the ones who would have harder lives as a result, as their neighborhood is more expensive, higher taxes, and the best jobs that would pay the most would be at least a 1 hour commute each way. My parents, of course, are retired; therefore, we'd have to suffer to make them happy.

What has really been ticking me off is that my father, who never takes any responsibility for his behavior, has started sending me obnoxious emails about where we live, i.e. news articles about all of the problems with our state as if to say, "see, you moved to a horrible, place! Ha! Take that!"

It just reminds me exactly why I would not want them within driving distance. [/quote]

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