Reply to Shared custody of an infant-coparents on good terms

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Recently had a very close family member go through this with a 5 month old. Partially due to nursing, but also partially due to personal preferences, they landed on:

- Mom has primary physical custody 
- No overnights until the child is 4 (there are other children involved too that are older)
- Dad gets minimum of 4 "contact hours" during the week
- Dad gets Sundays from Noon to 8 PM

Once the child is four, will still be 4 hours during the week, Sundays 12 - 8, but also every other weekend from Friday night to Sunday night.

I thought that was pretty far on the extreme end, but the courts agreed to it. The parents live very close together and travel time is not an issue. [/quote]

And, this is exactly why these Dad's have no bond or parenting abilities with these kids.  Kids are not nursing till age 4, and mom can pump or baby can take formula.  Mom will then complain Dad is a deadbeat and uninvolved when she set it up that way.  In reality there is no point in Dad being involved for 4 hours a week.  A stranger who babysits gets more time.  Its all about money as the less time Dad has the more support he pays.[/quote]

OP here. I think you are the same poster that was concerned about other family member being prioritized over the dad in my situation. It seems like you have an ax to grind regarding moms getting more custody/keeping dads away, but that's not really relevant to my situation. The father in my case has had a chance to be with the baby since birth and his parenting abilities are not in question. And in our case Mom (which is me) is not trying to keep dad away from the baby or gouge dad for child support. Perhaps start your own thread the discuss this issue?

To the PP who stated a baby can only have one "primary caregiver," I will look into this more and discuss with our doctor.

Also for the PP who suggested dad find childcare for his residence while he is working, that might be an option for the future but for right now we both feel most comfortable with my family member providing childcare while the baby is so young.

To the other pps who have contributed, thank you! I especially appreciate the contribution from the previous poster who shared their experience sharing custody of a 10 month old. [/quote]

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