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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you for the constructive advice, especially y7:13. We are actually not in DC so I can't use specific clinic or doctor referrals but I will definitely try to find something similar where we live.

Calling me naive and telling me I messed up by not getting her help earlier really isn't helpful. We did help her significantly over the past year and a half and she is not and never has been out of control with her behavior with the (granted large) exception of the skin picking. When she's anxious about something we calm her down and talk about it and she recognizes when she's anxious and is able to calm down quite quickly. I do realize that can change which is why I'm taking more steps to address it now. And I have been advocating and helping her her entire life. [/quote]

OP,

I'm sorry you've got so many nasty responses.  The SN forum is open to everyone, and many contribute mean, unhelpful comments basically b/c they can.  Good for you for realizing there's a potential issue, and taking action.  As parents are kids are growing and changing and may start doing certain things that we don't recognize as a pattern.  Often as parents, when we reach out for help from likely sources like pediatricians or teachers, we get no where b/c they don't see it either.

There are possible reasons for what your child is doing.  It could be anxiety, it could be OCD, it could be related to ADHD.  First, has your child ever had a neuropsych evaluation to screen for anxiety and/or ADHD?  If so, is she currently on medication that might explain the behavior?  Second, even if your child hasn't had this testing, it would be helpful to find a therapist who specializes in OCD.  This can be hard to find, especially for children.  Therapists who specialize in OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) usually approach it in a CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) setting.

CBT is essentially understanding how thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are linked and feed off each other in a cycle.  So in the OCD situation, if a child is anxious and starts picking her skin, a therapist will help her recognize the thoughts and emotions that trigger the behavior.  Then they work on changing the behavior by substituting appropriate behaviors.  So they may substitute a squeeze ball for example.

Although it may sound odd, a local DC area expert in OCD uses The Kazdin Method with children who have OCD.  This is a behavioral approach and can be used with in place of or in addition to CBT.  The basics of the Kazdin Method is using positive reinforcement to change behavior.  So when a kid with an OCD behavior like picking skin will get points and praise for demonstrating an appropriate behavior, e.g., like using a squeeze ball instead of picking the skin.

To find a therapist where you live, I would check with NAMI:  https://www.nami.org
You can also contact your nearest Children's Hospital.  Please let us know how it goes.[/quote]

OP - thank you for the very helpful reply and kind words. I have contacted our pediatrician and gotten a recommendation for a therapist who can evaluate her. She has never been evaluated for anxiety or ADHD and in our view (mine, my husbands and her trusted teachers) she doesn't display ADHD traits, though I'd have no issue with her being evaluated for them. She responded very well to an incentive last year - we gave her several options for things to do, including squeezing a ball, when she felt like picking. The picking started and seemed to happen the majority of the time when she went to the bathroom, so we also started monitoring her bathroom time and keeping it shorter at school, or had her go with a buddy. [b]She was able to stop on her own and earned her reward (which was a trip to see Hamilton [/b]and she was thrilled). Since the picking hasn't been an issue in a year but the occasional outbursts on anxiety have, it is a good idea to have her evaluated for everything and then we can go from there.

[/quote]

Hamilton??  :shock: 
Omg, do you want to adopt me??? lol  :lol:

I'm just kidding obviously, but good for you for doing that... what an AWESOME incentive!

It sounds like you'd all benefit greatly from a complete neuropsych evaluation.  
Children's hospital will cover almost the entire cost, but the downside is you have to wait 2-3 months for an appointment (although, you can ask to be put on their wait list for cancellations.(which does happen a lot).

If you'd like it done sooner, you can go private.
The downside is that it can cost around $2500 to run a completeneuropsych evaluation.  
It's a heavy price to pay, but the upside is that you can get it done almost immediately.

I truly believe that a neuropsych is your best bet, as it will tell you everything you need to know.  
No more guessing games, no more using Google as a tool to check for for symptoms, no more confusion & no more denying what we know to be true (and I'm not speaking directly to you in saying that, as every parent with a SN child goes through these same exact emotions).

Once you have the results, you'll know her diagnosis & you can get a game plan going forward, which will only benefit you all & give you the best chance of success (and finding out the diagnosis is half the battle in my opinion).

Good luck! :)[/quote]

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