Reply to Do I bring it up or let it go?

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[quote=Anonymous]I'd acknowledge that your daughter's feelings are fair and completely understandable.  I would be hurt by what they did also, and I think it's kind of mean.  And I'd say that to her.

Then I'd ask her what she wants to do about it.  Unless her plan is awful, support her in doing what she wants.

And/or ask her if she'd like any advice.  If she says no then stay out of it.  If she says yes then perhaps suggest that she respond to the cousins and say something like "What's up w/ going to the diner without me right after I suggested it.  That hurt my feelings."

THis can be a powerful lesson in owning her emotions, handling them directly and appropriately, and emerging from it feeling empowered.  (If you're lucky - that's admittedly a pretty rosy outlook.)

BUt learning how to suffer disappointment, and how to talk with someone you're close to who has hurt your feelings, is a huge developmental step.  You can help her through that, if she's open to your help.   She's also old enough that if she doesn't want you to get involved that is worth respecting.[/quote]

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