Reply to Mother in Law mad that I asked her for advance notice when she stops by

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In the bigger picture, it is reasonable to want to know if someone is coming over if you are someone who doesn't like people dropping by.

In this case, you are in the wrong OP. She texted asking if it was okay to come over, you said yes. She texted you when she was leaving and gave you 20 minutes notice and I assume you responded in a way that gave her the impression it was okay to come.

Then you got irritated with her for doing what you had asked her to do. If you had some other idea in your head of what was required of her, you didn't communicate that to her before her arrival.

To then text back and say you want her to be able to come without an invite or without making an appointments doesn't make sense. That is what you want her to do. You don't want her to come unless a clear time has been arranged in advance for her to visit - that is an appointment. If that is your requirement, that is your choice. She probably thought there would be less formality as family but that is her hurt to deal with.

What you need to do is set up exactly what you require.[b] For example, tell her "I require a minimum of 24 hours notice of a visit and a specific time (i.e. 2-4) provided to me. I will respond within 6 hours to let you know if that appointment can work. If not, I will suggest another time that will be more convenient."[/b]

That way your expectations have been clearly communicated and she can choose if she wants to follow your rules to be able to see her grandchild. I assume you would have the same rules for your own family and other visitors. [/quote]

OMG. Don't do this to your MIL.[/quote]

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