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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP here. I'd like to understand it better too.  One of the kids in our group of family friends is on the spectrum.  He is in a normal classroom with no aid but has an IEP-so high functioning.  For the most part, he does well when playing with other kids in our group, but there are times when he acts out. His parents don't talk about the diagnosis, or really address behavior problems.  Which makes it difficult for the other kids in the group to understand why he "gets away" with things.  It also makes him hard, and sometimes upsetting to be around.  If you are a parent of an autistic child, how would you suggest we approach the subject with our own NT kids?  Kids are all elementary school aged.[/quote]

If the parents don't talk about the diagnosis then how do you know he's on the spectrum? My DC was in a speech therapy group a few years ago with six boys and it was impossible to pick out the kids who were on the spectrum. Even the SLP running the group said so. When the parents compared notes at the end the two kids everyone thought were on the spectrum were not. One had social communication disorder and another only had an expressive speech delay. The most NT appearing child was the only one with an ASD diagnosis! My own child was somewhere in the middle, appearing different enough that people wouldn't be surprised if he had a diagnosis but wouldn't necessarily jump to conclusions. He has ADHD. No ASD according to neuropsych because he has no repetitive interests, behaviors and other characteristics I can't recall although he's plenty quirky.

Also how do you know the parents don't address the behavior problems? Our child with ADHD has plenty of them and he's in three different kinds of therapy for behaviors and we use positive reinforcement to help him along but also make sure there are consequences when he doesn't act appropriately. Every. Single. Time. It's exhausting.[b] But we don't talk about any of this with our child's friend's friends and make sure not to make a spectacle of "punishing" DS in front of his friends. It really bothers me when parents come on this board and assume parents of children with special needs are not doing anything and letting their kids "get away" with everything because of their special needs.[/quote][/b]

+1 
Me too. [/quote]

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