Reply to Do narcissists ever know they are narcissists? Can they change?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If he were truly a narcissist, he would not be going to counseling on his own or with you. [/quote]

This is an interesting thought. I do think NPD is an incredibly internally painful disorder. I dated a woman once who I finally realized was NPD (once you can step back and see clearly for just one second, it becomes very clear. And yes, I'm in psychology FWIW.)  She had been to therapy on and off several times, although I don't know if NPD ever came up, so I have no idea if she actually knew she was NPD. In retrospect, our conversations never went the route of talking about our 'deeper' selves - it was always deflected (often with sex...) One thing I know for sure is that NPDs have a hard time tolerating being identified as NPD; it takes away the power differential in the relationship and removes the superficial shine from them.

OP, if your DH is NPD, my condolences. My experience was devaluing and emotionally brutal. In retrospect, I should have seen the 'red flags' from the start, but NPD is profoundly alluring at the outset of a relationship...Live and learn, I guess. [/quote]

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