Reply to Do narcissists ever know they are narcissists? Can they change?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A true narcissist? No. But I don't think adults become narcissists. Maybe he's just acting like a self-centered jerk, which is tough to deal with but changeable. If he were a pathological narc, you'd probably have seen signs of it, ever since he'd officially won you over. They're very charming at first. Then they discard you.[/quote]

I don't think he became this way. I'm concerned he was this way before and it was buried behind charm, as narcissists are supposed to have a way to do. I did see signs but they were little things that I dismissed in the same way I dismissed the growing conflict after kids. (We had kids pretty early so there wasn't a lot of time to know him independently). His background in early life also matches very closely with some of the scenarios that are common in narcissists.[/quote]

The other thing is that prior to children, a spouse can focus all of their emotional energy and affection on the narc. The narc is getting what they need - unfiltered adoration. After children, especially in the early years, much of the 'love' is aimed at the children. This can be infuriating for the narc spouse, and so I don't think it's uncommon for it to become unmasked then. [/quote]

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