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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi,

My girlfriend - soon to be wife - was laid off a little over a month ago. I am concerned that she is not taking this seriously. Some examples:

-- She just got around to signing up for unemployment, so has lost a good deal of money in payments because she didn't get around to making the call earlier. (She has been at home alone so there is no reason she couldn't have signed up for it right after the layoff. She seems to be spending a lot of her day on Facebook.)

-- She has only had 3 telephone interviews and one in person interview in this time. She has a large network but has only told a few people she is looking - I think she is embarassed?

-- I search for jobs for her daily and send her links, but I have no idea whether she is actually applying for them - she seems secretive about it.

-- I have suggested temp agencies and other short term jobs but she nixed them, saying that whatever she makes would be deducted from the unemployment payment so there is no sense doing that.

Any suggestions for lighting a fire here?

Thanks!

[/quote]

My ex boyfriend was the same way you seem to be when I was laid off; he meant well but was not at all helpful.  If she's had phone interviews she's applying and at least getting some interest.  Sending links of job openings is not really doing anything useful.  It's the easiest part of a job search- I'm sure she can find the same job postings you're sending her in minutes, the actual effort is in customizing your resume and applying , seeing if you have anyone in your network at that company etc....  If you know and understand her industry you could offer to write her cover letter and customize her resume each time you send her a link.  That probably sounds like a ton of work- because it is.  Maybe she's doing that and if so then she's doing a lot to have had the interviews she has already had.    Do that if she is open to it, tell her to let you know if you can help, and then shut up about it.  She doesn't seem to be asking you for money so at this point it isn't your business.

I didn't look for a new job seriously for a month and it took 4 months before I got a job I wanted and accepted.  It was financially rough but I was fine.  And no one helped, it just is a process.

Being a fun distraction sometimes is the best thing for you to do, she needs to have a mental break from job hunting all the time.  Take her on a low key date and don't talk about working.  Work will come, she should enjoy the time off while she has it[/quote]

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