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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have described my 13 YO DD. She almost defiantly does not care about her appearance.

I make her:

Shower each morning
brush her teeth twice a day
wash her face with acne treatment once a day
I would make her wear a bra if she didn't want to.  She does want to because she is shy about her body.  It would attract a LOT of attention if she didn't wear a bra.

do her homework and study.  If she doesn't maintain Bs and above she loses her extracurricular (that she loves).

That's the bare minimum IMHO.  I do wonder what is going to happen when she's on her own and I don't tell her to brush her teeth anymore :(

[/quote]

This is the same for me.

I think parents - especially moms - need to be less afraid of speaking frankly with their young teens about hygenie issues.  Keep in mind, these are kids who have never really done hygiene and at times really don't know what or how to do it even if they want to. And then there is the fear if they do it, they will be admitting they are growing up.

There is no need to be mean but there is no need to pretend your child is not changing. It's not a one time convo. It is something that you have to gently bring up over and over.

Things like acne. It's crazy to me that people just assume their 11/12/13 yr olds just "know" how to treat acne.  How are they just going to know that?  
It's easy to think they would google or youtube but most kids are going to be iffy on whether they should follow the advice and then how are they going to get the products are do the routines? Where there parents comment? Their siblings? Will they be even more embarrassed?  
Be kind.  Gently tell your child that acne is something that requires consistent routines and treatments. That getting into a routine for it takes a few tries but then it becomes easy and second nature.  Help your kid set up the routine. This takes time and effort and sometimes a thick skin for parents who are going to get rebuffed. [/quote]

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