Reply to Is a push/grab worth leaving fiance?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is a push/grab worth leaving fiance?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You say that he has been trying to approach you since the incident and that you have not been receptive. I think it's important to recognize the difference between someone who reacts badly from a place of anger and stress who regrets that reaction and someone who takes their frustration out on you without regret. Obviously, abusers can demonstrate regret, [b]but in the incident you describe, you are both exhausted from sleep deprivation[/b], were having a disagreement about that, you raised your voice, he pushed/grabbed you in response, and now that he's trying to talk to you, you're ignoring him.

It doesn't sound like either one of you is in a great place right now. Any chance you can try to get some rest and hit a reset button and have a conversation about how to manage high emotions at a time when emotions aren't running high? I don't know that leaving is the answer at this point, but I do think it's time for a conversation about stress management.[/quote]

So what were the excuses before the baby came?

OP, ignore the excuse making poster above. Instead, take a look at real information from real professionals. There is a number at the bottom to call and talk through your situation. Best of luck to you. Please call the hotline number.

[i]Anyone can be an abuser. They come from all groups, all cultures, all religions, all economic levels, and all backgrounds. They can be your neighbor, your pastor, your friend, your child's teacher, a relative, a coworker -- anyone. It is important to note that the majority of abusers are only violent with their current or past intimate partners. One study found 90% of abusers do not have criminal records and abusers are generally law-abiding outside the home.

There is no one typical, detectable personality of an abuser. However, they do often display common characteristics.[/i]

An abuser often denies the existence or minimizes the seriousness of the violence and its effect on the victim and other family members.
An abuser objectifies the victim and often sees them as their property or sexual objects.
An abuser has low self-esteem and feels powerless and ineffective in the world. He or she may appear successful, but internally, they feel inadequate.
An abuser externalizes the causes of their behavior. They blame their violence on circumstances such as stress, their partner's behavior, a "bad day," on alcohol, drugs, or other factors.
An abuser may be pleasant and charming between periods of violence and is often seen as a "nice person" to others outside the relationship.

[b]Red flags and warning signs of an abuser include but are not limited to:
[/b]
Extreme jealousy
Possessiveness
Unpredictability
A bad temper
Cruelty to animals
Verbal abuse
Extremely controlling behavior
Antiquated beliefs about roles of women and men in relationships
Forced sex or disregard of their partner's unwillingness to have sex
Sabotage of birth control methods or refusal to honor agreed upon methods
Blaming the victim for anything bad that happens
Sabotage or obstruction of the victim's ability to work or attend school
Controls all the finances
Abuse of other family members, children or pets
Accusations of the victim flirting with others or having an affair
Control of what the victim wears and how they act
Demeaning the victim either privately or publicly
Embarrassment or humiliation of the victim in front of others
Harassment of the victim at work
[b]For anonymous, confidential help available 24/7, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) now.[/b][/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics