Reply to Need help explaining my sister-in-law's imminent death to my 12-year-old son

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Reply to "Need help explaining my sister-in-law's imminent death to my 12-year-old son"

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[quote=Anonymous]I haven't read all the responses but feel pretty confident about how to handle this as we've just been through this and I have a child the same age.  We also consulted with both hospice, a social worker who works with cancer stricken families and also with a counsellor.  The consensus essentially is this:

-You know that Aunt Sally has been sick.  She has cancer.  She has the best doctors possible and they have done all they can to help her.  Unfortunately, there is no cure for her right now.  They have tried different treatments and nothing is working.  The doctors will do all they can to make her comfortable.  I promise I will be honest with you about what I know so if you have any questions, please ask me.  You can also ask Aunt Sally about anything you want to ask her.

-I also discussed how I may cry or the kids may cry or not, but it is all okay to feel lots of different feelings.

You should explain her appearance before he sees her (the medicine she's been on makes her lose her hair, makes her weak, makes her not hungry and makes her feel nauseous, etc.)  You should also tell him that most kinds of cancer can't be caught from another person and that Aunt Sally is not contagious so it is perfectly fine to touch her if he wants to.  He may not want to though.  One of my kids asked how the cancer started and I just said that sometimes our bodies make good cells and bad cells and most times the good cells can fight off the bad cells, like a cold or the flu, but sometimes the bad cells keep multiplying and multiplying and we can't stop them from doing that.

Good luck...so sorry.  Awful... :([/quote]

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