Reply to What kind of a father does this?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's weird. Is it passive-aggressive to get back at you? Does he have visitation and not use it? [/quote]

Apparently he's stopped completely. Whatever happened he's pretty angry. When OP said she had to do a lot of stuff to facilitate their relationship that was quite telling. I'm guessing he was never crazy about being a dad,  perhaps the child wasn't planned. I believe there's more going on here, but it may be ex is tired of being tied down as well. OP said they live very close to her ex so now I'm wondering if he'll move. Otherwise, I don't see how he will be able to avoid the both of them for too long.

OP, are you or ex dating or with other people? I'm wondering if there's some other influences going on with your ex. [/quote]

You kind of hit the nail on the head.  He did not want to be a father and begged me to have an abortion.  I wouldn't and made it clear to him that he could totally not be involved if he didn't want to be.  He felt that his parents would really be hurt if he abandoned his child so he slowly came around.  Just because he didn't want the baby does not mean he got to punish me or our child. I still expected him to act like a responsible adult if he was around our child.  That has not happened.  I made a huge mistake by allowing to basically be a buddy.  I do all of the parenting.  He comes over (or used to) 5-6 times a week to play with our son but as soon as he has to be an actual parent he is out of there.  The reason I blew up at him was because he did something dangerous.  The man is a child who cannot grow up.  But there is no situation or emotion that I could (and do) feel for him that would keep me away from my child.  Whatever he is feeling towards me is irrelevant.  You don't go from nearly daily contact to nothing over night.

As far as dating, i don't see how that is relevant.  I have moved on a long time ago and I know he is dating too. That is not why this is happeneing.  He had a history of just disappearing when he fucks up.  He did it to his best friend in the world when friend's father died.  My x did not call him or go to the funeral. Instead of apologizing he blocked the friend, completely.  I guess I should have predicted this.

I am not calling him or chasing him down.  But when his child runs into him on the street I think I have a right to be upset that his father tries to hide.[/quote]

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