Reply to Why does my Mother think she can hate me but have a relationship with my minor children?

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Reply to "Why does my Mother think she can hate me but have a relationship with my minor children?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nope. Unless she's abusive to the kids (and she may very well be), theirs is a separate relationship from yours.  I wouldn't deny my kids a relationship with their grandparents solely because the grandparent is mean to me. Only if their own unique relationship is toxic.[/quote]

Let me get this straight. If [b]someone[/b] hated you, you would still send your kids to them?[/quote]

Yes, because that "someone" is your kids' grandma.

[/quote]

Disagree. My parents and ILs do not have rights to my children, nor are they entitled to a relationship if they treat me or DH badly. It's a privilege you give to family and friends that aren't potentially (likely) harmful to your kids.[/quote]

you are not mature enough to have kids. i hope you don't have any. if you do, i feel sorry for your kids. [/quote]

I agree with the PP who says that grandparents are not entitled to relationships with their grandchildren. I have two children. I am mature enough to not continue relationships with people who are abusive or advantage-taking. You, on the other hand, sound like you either have never experienced this yourself or do not have the maturity to establish appropriate boundaries. [/quote]

+1.  My Dad used to make digs at me through my kids.  I personally hadn't spoke to him in about 10 years.  But I would let my DD and DS visit him with my brother and his kids.    He would say things to my DD like  "No more cookies Larla or you'll get fat like your mother"  and DD would come home and say the same thing.  "Mom, I'll only have one cookie, Grandpa said if I have more, I'll get fat like you."  This is only an example.  He said much more cruel things.

So I stopped all contact with he had with them.  If they change minds when they are older, that's on them.[/quote]

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