Reply to Why does my Mother think she can hate me but have a relationship with my minor children?

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Reply to "Why does my Mother think she can hate me but have a relationship with my minor children?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nope. Unless she's abusive to the kids (and she may very well be), theirs is a separate relationship from yours.  I wouldn't deny my kids a relationship with their grandparents solely because the grandparent is mean to me. Only if their own unique relationship is toxic.[/quote]

Let me get this straight. If [b]someone[/b] hated you, you would still send your kids to them?[/quote]

Yes, because that "someone" is your kids' grandma.

[/quote]

Disagree. My parents and ILs do not have rights to my children, nor are they entitled to a relationship if they treat me or DH badly. It's a privilege you give to family and friends that aren't potentially (likely) harmful to your kids.[/quote]

you are not mature enough to have kids. i hope you don't have any. if you do, i feel sorry for your kids. [/quote]

I agree with the PP who says that grandparents are not entitled to relationships with their grandchildren. I have two children. I am mature enough to not continue relationships with people who are abusive or advantage-taking. You, on the other hand, sound like you either have never experienced this yourself or do not have the maturity to establish appropriate boundaries. [/quote]

So, you would deny your kids having a relationship with their grandma because you don't like your mother? Is everything about you?? You don't sound mature at all. Self-centered, yes. [/quote]

If my mother refused to have a positive relationship with me, why on earth should I believe that she will have a positive relationship with my children? Why should I simply allow her to spend time with them when she spends her energy trash-talking me to anyone who will listen?  It says a lot about you that you think the OP's issue is a matter of "not liking her mother."

My mother, btw, is fantastic. My father has had his issues, and there have been times when we've gone for more than a year without speaking because he's unable to speak to me respectfully. Those times were prior to the birth of my children, but if it was to happen again, he would be delusional if he thought that he could be awful to me and maintain relationships with my young children. If the OP's mom is texting and emailing her with messages for her children, this tells me that the children are not old enough to maintain the relationship on their own. If they were old enough, it might be a slightly different story, but that different.[/quote]

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