Reply to Why does my Mother think she can hate me but have a relationship with my minor children?

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Reply to "Why does my Mother think she can hate me but have a relationship with my minor children?"

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[quote=Anonymous]So, I would not deny my children a relationship with family because I did not like family or because they were mean to me or other similar reasons.  I absolutely would, however, deny them a relationship with someone I did not trust with their wellbeing.  I actually do think grandparents are presumptively morally entitled to some relationship with the grandkids, but that presumption can be overcome, so to speak.  And you should cut it off if it is a danger to their physical or emotional wellbeing.  It sounds like you have good reason to think the grandparents would be detrimental to your kids emotional wellbeing, anyway.

I actually quite like my inlaws but do not trust them very far.  MIL has untreated bipolar disorder, I think (armchair diagnosis, admittedly, since she has refused treatment since sometime in the 70s, but it's line with what I know about her past treatment, and she prefers to treat her admitted mental illness with "prayer").  as aresult, they have a relationship with my kids (send cards, talk on the phone, visit once/year), but almost no time alone with the kids.  like, if MIL seems to be in good shape, we'll let them watch the kids together for an hour while we go out but that's about it, and plans are subject to cancellation if she seems off the rails or if the kids are being difficult.  I love my MIL but I would cut her out in a heartbeat if I thought she mistreated my kids or put them at risk.  I know she didn't treat DH well.  [/quote]

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