Reply to DH doesn't believe in Grand Gestures

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Fine. But the little gestures are once in a blue moon. I hate it, it makes me feel not picky and naggy to bring it up, but literally I feel like I am never at the front of his mind. Work first, himself second. DC a distant third and me somewhere after. Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, random Fridays...are all ignored by him. He is more than happy to celebrate them, is not doing it out of meaness or manipulation. Just doesn't occur to him. I feel like he was better about it the first two years we were dating, and then we were both so wrapped up in our careers I could forgive and make excuses. The thing is, he uses work as the excuse, and it isn't that I don't believe work is stressful, but so is my line of work. My day is busy to. If I talk to him about it, he is defensive, and then clearly embarrassed with himself/hard on himself though not particularly apologetic and nothing changes moving forward. How can approach this? We've tried me just telling him, "here's what gift I would like for x occasion" but the reality is, after a few rounds of that, it is more the idea that he spent more
Than two min thinking about me, and what I might need/want/like. This is not the result of gift giving gone wrong, (other than none) and it really isn't about the gift. This could also be, "honey I filled up the gas tank for you" or "I scheduled the babysitter, because I want to take you out" (he says he wants to go out regularly but doesn't plan any aspect of making that happen, meaning it falls on me completely to do it.) Looking for constructive advice. [/quote]

Get that 5 love languages book. Have him read it. Explain that gifts are your love language. Hopefully that will make it clear to him.[/quote]

It sounds like her love language is "acts of service."[/quote]

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