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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You don't have to.  You are choosing to, and you will feel better if you acvept that you do have agency here and own your choices.[/quote]

You are right, but what my kids lose is too great. We dont fight.  I no longer have the passion to fight, Im apathetic.  So as far as they are concerned, we are a happy family.

So sure i can make the choice, but i also don't want to share holidays or weekends.  My ideal scenario would be living together, but divorced.[/quote]

I'm not saying you should get divorced.  The decision to stay together may be the right one.  But you will feel better if you mentally regard it as a choice (even if it is a choice between two bad choices) and think about what other choices you can make to improve your situation. [/quote]

I kind of agree with this.  It is mentally a choice to stay together rather than to split up and not have your kids each day, possibly put them through some ugliness, possibly have another parent come into their lives, etc.  But, for those who've made this choice, are you happy with it in the end?[/quote]

I was.  It was not worth it to disrupt the kids, and I just could not bear to live without them half the time.  We were able to get along for eight years, until they were all in college.  Saved everyone a ton of money and hassle.  I was then able to shop for a condo without worrying about schools and the day to day needs of the kids.  I don't regret it at all-- it wasn't easy, but neither is divorce.  Divorce cheerleaders will say we were living a lie or setting a bad example, but I think we showed the kids how to put family first, get along, and be practical.  [/quote]

I love this.  It is exactly what I needed to hear today.  I can get along ok with DH, just not in love at all.  On a business trip now and just got off the phone with him - its all calm, polite, chatted about what is going on at home, but there is no feeling left.  Somebody recently described it to me as just "getting to launch."[/quote]

Hang in there, PP!  It is soooo much easier to divorce (or rebuild) when the kids aren't around.  Way less drama.[/quote]

Thanks!  Yes, I hope so.  We both have very good careers so money won't be an issue.  I feel like once the kids are bigger I can just go if I want.  But, for right now, I like the idea of being with them everyday and giving them a solid homelife, even if it is not optimal for me personally (in the romance dep't anyway).[/quote]

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