Reply to Is two divorces a red flag?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is two divorces a red flag?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Normally, I'd say one divorce is a red flag.  However, I know one absolutely spectacular human being who has been divorced three times.

1) Got married in her 20s, had a child.  I'm not sure why it didn't work out.  Sounded like it was a mess.
2) She said that he was probably the right guy, but she "handled it wrong" (which I assume means she cheated on him)
3) She was panicked that her child would never have a father and married a jerk, in an effort to try to put it all back together.

She is currently in her 60s and has been with a live-in partner for almost 10 years, also a lovely guy.  She is wonderful.  I was absolutely shocked when she told me about her past.  She's really self aware, and it is clear that she has had a lot of therapy and REALLY accepts her role in the demise of each marriage.  If she decided she were to get married a fourth time, I'd be there with bells on.  She has a level of self awareness that comes with maturity and age that very few divorced people seem to have.

I'd steer clear of any woman who claims to have been abused by her ex or swears he was the devil, because I've known multiple women who have characterized relationships that were mutually toxic as "abusive" after they were over (again, lack of self reflection).  Abuse is a very easy thing to claim after the fact, when the guy isn't around to give his side of the story.[/quote]

Also, I know a few women who were actually abused by their exes, and they are far more quiet about it.  Usually women who are true victims have some degree of (unwarranted) shame.  They're usually not the ones running around with a pitchfork yelling "ABUSE!!!!!!!!"[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics