Reply to SAHD not wanting to return to work

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry OP.  [b]He's backed you into a corner where you either have to put up with it or get out.  You can't MAKE him go to work.[/b]  you can choose not to let your kids see that example. Since your basically the only adult in the house, leaving isn't going to be much different. Or you stay.  All awful options.[/quote]

+1. Not great options.  Here is the million dollar question, what do you want that is within your control?  If you are burnt out with work and want to spend more time with the kids, figure out how to downsize your expenses and improve your financial investments to make that possible.  Your DH salary or lack thereof isn't part of that equation.  If it's food at the ready, look into one of those places that delivers meals and when the kid activities are old enough make sure they know how to cook.  If you love your job and want to be able  to travel etc, but hate the idea of husband doing little all day, then look into divorce but realize what few benefits you have been getting from him SAH might be gone unless you were still supporting him and he had primary custody.  Things like him being home when kids are sick, taking them to the doctors, making 50% of the meals, leaving at 3:30 to pickup at school and drop at sports etc.

I'm being brutally honest but if my husband traveled a lot for work and worked long hours, I would probably be want to be a SAHP, even with the kids in school.  I have zero desire to be the default parent and work full-time, and try to cook and clean.   At that point, if I'm doing all that, I feel like I might as well be a single parent.  See the thread on millennials women wanting to be SAHM.  Oh and I know several people that have a SAH spouse and an au pair/babysitter when the husband travels a lot for work and they have 2 or more kids and the husband makes good money. Personally, I would either have to be able to work from home near full-time, or make really good money working part-time to make it worth it if financially we didn't need my salary. Otherwise I feel like we would have to pay a nanny/au pair and neither of us are spending time with the kids.  If I had to start at the bottom of the totem pole or was making a modest salary it will be a lot more stress for what - maybe adding 10-20K after taxes and paying the nanny - money that isn't critical to our survival. [/quote]

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