Reply to how could I have handled this better -- found self in argument with both DS, 3 and DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]FFS. Yes, OP obviously didn't handle it well. She knows that. OP, talk to your DH about how you can BOTH deal with DS's rudeness. He's 3 and old enough to speak to any adult, particularly a parent, appropriately. DH needs to be on your team though, and not just reveling in being the preferred parent (if he does that). It's fine for your son to have a preference, it's not fine for him to yell at you or otherwise be rude.

I was the strongly preferred parent for my daughter and I saw that it stung my husband. You have to kind of try to get over it though. It will pass. And ignore your ILs, and think about whether to ask your DH to ask that they not comment on it anymore. It is a very normal thing, plenty of posts on this board about the phenomenon.[/quote]

At 3, kids sometimes have an irrational preference for a parent. It passes.  Mine had daily preferences. I want Mommy to put me in the car seat! Not Daddy! Waaaah! [Meltdown]. Then on the way back home it would be a preference for the other parent. We usually catered toward her preferences because it took less time than arguing with her or explaining or getting to change her behavior. As she grew older, now at 4, we reinforced the idea that she doesn't get to pick who helps her. We told her "If Mommy is busy, Daddy helps. If Daddy is busy, you get Mommy. We are a team, we help each other. You get whom you get." It's gotten better.

Btw, I'm the preferred parent to a 4 year old most times and always with our 1 year old. It's a mixed blessing. Sometimes I wish one of them preferred DH, it would be easier![/quote]

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