Reply to how could I have handled this better -- found self in argument with both DS, 3 and DH

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[quote=Anonymous]Well a slightly different take... I do think kids have preferences; I don't think they get to set all family interaction based on those whims.  My DS has/had a strong Mom preference: this does not set who gives the kids a bath, bedtime routine, holds his hand crossing the road.  On the broader routines we alternate (e.g. bedtime), and I think this was hugely beneficial to DS and helped him build a better relationship with DH.  So I strongly disagree with some of the advice here.

That said, what is a weird here is that the interaction in question was touching, and I don't think it is a good idea to ever force touching with a kid beyond the necessary, e.g. safety/ hygiene.  So while I think it would make sense to stay firm on who does what in terms of broader routines, it is a little controlling to continue giving someone (anyone!) a backrub when they do not want it.  And really, thinking about it, you were kind of disrespecting touching boundaries for both DH and DS, which maybe was an underlying issue that in part set DH off.  (Though I also agree that he still totally blew the concern out of proportion, at least according to your story.)[/quote]

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