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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know if this belongs here or in the Relationships forum, but here goes.  Dh (military) and I are finally going to buy a house after 10 years of marriage. We've got two kids, so we're juggling schools, commute needs, floor plans that work for our family, etc.  All this in the hot NoVa market. It just seems like every crack in our marriage is getting magnified 100 times over!  I'm being the optimist, sure we'll find something, he's a pessimist, if we don't pick something now we'll end up homeless in July. [b] I just want a solid house with a good floor plan, he wants something "more than a box" with some kind of HGTV worthy features that he'd be proud to show his friends and family. [/b] I'm the tightwad with money, he wants to blow up the budget (but stay within his BAH, which is its own conflict).  It just feels ridiculously hard to even discuss it - one day he's pushing me to pick something from the first five houses we've seen, two days later he's rejecting my first choice to instead argue for a house that seems like a total disaster to me.  And instead of just saying he doesn't like my first choice, he goes off on a tangent about it having a sump pump, as if we have to reject every house that has one.

Its driving me nuts!  Is it this hard for everybody?[/quote]

Few years from now you will look back and be sorry you went with bear minimum. House buying is a very expensive business
because when you consider all the costs of transactions each time and cost of upgrading and remodeling before selling
then it is nuts. Besides, it does matter how you feel in the home as people usually stay longer then they plan.
It is especially difficult to move when  you have little children who need room to roam and back  yard and
at the same time they are attached to the house, you are attached to the house because it is a place you made
so many memories. Chances are you both will get some salary raise and or promotions and you will be more comfortable
with bigger home. Besides if your husband follows HGTV and you not then he more likely then you
understand the market and what people are looking for. This is important because home is an investment
and you are buying for it to increase in value and be sealable in the future. 
Your home might not be such a great investment as his, his might gain in value more, faster, and
be easier to sale when you need to sale it. Your home also will be that much less fun to live in,
the pride factor is also important as you will have people over, family over and also kids friends over
and everybody here judges you by car you drive and home you live in. Like it or not.

I think you should bite a bullet since your hubby seems to be making better long term investment
and really wants to provide for his family. A guy takes a lot of pride from the house as he is also
being judge for it a lot and he probably wants to fulfill his dream and expectations of his home.
It is important for a happy marriage sometimes let go especially if it won't make you go broke.
After all you will also be proud of the beautiful home and it will have more storage and room for kids.
What's not to love. Of course budget is important but again, you will live in this house for a very long
and most important time of your life. Later on  you can go smaller again but when you have
a young family, this is when you need the best for them that you can afford.

[/quote]

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