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[quote=Lonely_Sojourner][quote=Anonymous]OP--I'm so sorry for your loss.  Online dating is not for everyone.  It's a lot like going to the bars used to be for us.  You would go out and see if there was anyone that caught your eye and you would walk over and talk to that person.....maybe you walked away with their number.

Online dating is a lot like that except you don't have to go to the bar.  You find a person that is attractive to you and you start a conversation.  If its seems to be going well, you exchange numbers and eventually meet in person.

The problem with this is that the entire "transaction" takes much longer than the old way.  People may not respond immediately and the initial get to know you can take a week or longer before you decide to finally meet.

The other thing that I've found is that my definition of attractive has changed.  Let's me honest....I'm 45.  I no longer have perky boobs, rock hard abs, and the youthful glow of an 18yr old.  In my mind however, I think that's exactly what I look like :).  This carries over into what I'm looking for.....I still think I'm looking for that really cute 18yr old guy with the full head of dark hair, the broad shoulders, the swagger that comes with the innocence of youth.  Then when I look at a 50+ profile, of course I'm disappointed.

Now at our age, we both know that looks aren't everything.  But that's how online dating starts the process.  If I were to meet the same man at an event, I would probably happily chat with him.  Maybe it will go somewhere and maybe it won't.  But by being at an event together, we already have a common platform to springboard the conversation.  If we're getting along, it might be natural to continue the conversation after the event is over.  And if I don't meet someone at an event, at least I've had a nice night out doing something that I enjoy.  But online, it's way to easy just to ignore someone that isn't physically attractive off the bat to you.

I've found that internet dating sucks.  I've met one or two people that I've gone out with 4-5x but it just sort of fizzled.  My advice is to go to events that you enjoy and just expand your circle of friends.  Who knows who you might meet.  [/quote]

I really appreciate your taking the time to respond with such pertinent/detailed information - thank you!!

You are 100% correct in that all of our bodies have aged (albeit gracefully) over time and mine is certainly no exception.  If we ever meet IRL, remind me to share the first time that I was naked in front of another woman that wasn't my wife, not the pretty sight that I once was by any stretch.  I'm also not the type to chase a 25-30 y.o. chickie as I'm looking for a partner that can call me out when I'm wrong or someone that is not shy about speaking up if they see a better solution to a problem.  My (limited) experience is that ladies that young do not possess enough life's experiences.  While I have above-average intelligence, I certainly realize that I'm far from perfect and very amenable to other people's views as I do not always see things.  I like your idea about expanding my external activities and trying that approach.  I love to travel, snow -ski and I also play tennis, so there are enough opportunities to explore possibilities.  You are also correct in that internet dating takes a lot longer and is significantly more time consuming.   And the consummate problem is that it may/may not work out...

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