Reply to calm down about the college-admissions madness

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have said this before and people refuse to hear me.

As parents, it is your job to help prepare your kids for success.  However, an equally important role is to be your kids’ sanctuary when the pressure gets too high.

I graduated from Michigan and DH graduated from Wash U.  Our 2 oldest graduated from Stanford and Carnegie-Mellon. Our baby is at Michigan now.  Our kids were self-motivated because of the standard we set and because they were in an environment with other college bound kids.   There was a lot of inherent pressure.  We did our best to actually ratchet that pressure down.  We did not obsess about it and we did not hover over them about it.  We were there as advisors and a resource.  We also kept telling them NOT to compare themselves to friends.  Achieve for your own sake and do what interests you.  There are numerous paths to success.   A number of our kids’ friends had parents who drove them constantly – they HAD to get into a particular school, they HAD to do this EC, they HAD to do this or do that.  Those kids would come to OUR house for reassurance and positive reinforcement – and to get away from their Tiger parents.  So…take it seriously.  However, make sure you know when it is time to ease up and let your teen breathe. 
[/quote]

Yeah, we were that house too.  That said, it's still a downer to watch your kids' friends feel so bad.  Even if your family is a haven, that's because the surrounding environment is so toxic.  And your own kids are inevitably sucked into some of the drama/angst when everything/everyone around them (except their parents) embraces the madness.  If I had to do it all over again, I'd probably avoid private school for this reason -- although I'm sure there are suburban privates that are just as bad.[/quote]

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